First off have I mentioned how lucky I am, because I honestly don't think I can say that enough..I am the luckest girl ever! Chloe is an amazing child and I love her more than life itself, I honestly don't know how I lived without her, she brings so much joy into my life. She loves me, the kind of love i've never experienced before, which makes think about things in a whole new light. Life is so much richer now with Chloe in my life, she makes me want to do whatever it takes to make her proud.period.
As we approach the one month anniversary of a family of four, i feel like this is a great time to talk a little about our journey to Chloe, part of the testamonial i made at church sunday night, which went very well..its a little long but here it is...enjoy!
For the past 7 years I have longed for a sibling so bad that some nights when i would go up to my room I would get so depressed because I was so alone and every night it was like i was constantly reminded of how alone i really was, and it about did me in. So after many months and years after i felt this longing i started to feel this tugging at my heart that just wouldn't go away, it was like God was telling that it was time i talked to my parents about my feelings and how i wanted a sister. Ok, easier said than done, so I prayed and prayed to God for him to help me understand what He wanted me to do, hoping that he would give me a sign somehow so i would know that this is or is not meant to be. When my parents, me and my Aunt went on a cruise to the Bahamas with some friends, i remember the morning before we got off the ship, seeing this adorable asian girl around the age of 4 with two caucasian parents, i remember thinking how cute she was but at the moment i did not recognise the sign that God had placed right in front of me. Anyways after many nights of pondering i finally decided to sit my parents down and ask them if they would consider adoption, because I knew friends of ours had just adopted a adorable baby girl, Ally from China and i thought that maybe, just maybe they would consider it. I knew it was a longshot but the worst thing they could say was no and i was ok with that.
So i decided to confront my mom first, so one late night when we were both up and talking about our cousin who had just found out she was pregnant with her first child (the boy is now 2) so i figured since we were talking about babies I would just mention it..so i did, that conversation is such a blur, but i remember mom had this look on her face like "are you crazy" and i was so certain that i had made a mistake by asking. The next day, my mom told me that she had been thinking about what i asked her, about me wanting a sister, and she said that i needed to talk to my dad...ok??! I was petrified, i didn't know what or how to say it to him, so i just thought about how sad and alone i had felt and i said "dad, im tired of being alone", little did i know that about 2 years after i spoke them words i would be boarding a plane with my parents to China to pick up my new baby sister.
Between the time i had that talk with my dad, until the day that Chloe was placed in our arms, i have struggled personally with obsticles that i didn't think i could overcome, my best friend being diagnosed with Leukemia at 15 years old, myself struggling with depression and health problems and losing my great aunt to melanomia..an endless list of doubts and fears without adding in the extra stress of the 14 month wait was almost enough to begin to question myself wondering if it was meant to be. If it hadnt have been for the extra wait, we wouldnt have gotten matched with the child we have, and i couldnt imagine life without this certain little girl who makes everything better!
The point im getting at is the power that a person has and the things they can do if they want it bad enough. I wanted a sister more than anything in this world, and after its all said and done, because of me i changed a life, my family changed the life of a tiny baby girl who needed a family as badly as we needed her.
**12/18/2006 a dream come true**
Labels: Chloe, me, Thinking toward the future..
12.18.2006-just one month ago today..wow! you've came a long way baby =)
